cfs iium

Assalamualaikum,,

peeps people, Alhamdulillah i'm back

tho for those last weeks i'm not feeling very well

well hmm,, nothing much to say, 

but i'm back for the welcoming second short semester

in here, gambang. 

tho, at first i was supposed to be in Pj

but at the last hours i've got a call telling me 

to register in Gambang,,

actually not many people know about this,

but i have come a day early to CFS

with my walid, yeah basically because my walid 

couldn't attend to the registration day which was the day after

and i was like...

huh..it's okay, when i was studying in DQ

my parents are also not there with me
they actually went on the same trip with me

but they have to go back early due to some circumstances

well, i have learnt my lesson here,

that even though you think you are surrounded with

so many friends and so loving parents and family

but at the end when you are about to make a new step

you are actually alone by yourself. 

and eventually treading to your own path and story

well back to the story, my parents have to shorten their journey

because my tokwan is really sick. and i of course

understand and did not object to it.

soon after, while i was having the rehearsal for the

closing TAWE ceremony, i had the message

telling that tokwan is really sick 

and my family whatsapp group keep blinking with notifications,

fulls of prayers and duuas and also

the last picture of tokwan' s agony. 

and on that night, on that friday night,

there she is lying on the bed, with a sweet looking smile 

beneath her lips made me welled up with tears,

i could hardly imagine, in a just minute or two that

she already gone.

.

.

and at that very moment i'm not beside her..

it's so hard breaking to just know that she is gone but i'm really faar away from her

i couldn't say much that time

i remember that at 1.16 a.m. she helds her last breath.

and at that time, i am taking my ablutions to pray for her.

and when i enter my room, checked my whatsapp,

i almost fell, so many new chat come in

with arabic words innalillah..

i felt so sad, indeed, she is the first ever person that i love

leaving me,, i really miss her.. my loving tokwan.

till the End.. she is the most nicest towan ever.

she is the most nicest person ever

up until her last breath she remembers Allah clearly, may Allah grant Jannah for her

when she is younger, she never misses her tahajjud and always read quran

and i still remember that after every solat she would read quran

on her favoutrite praying mat,,and when she was sick, she always got up at

3-4 a,m asking me, is it subuh already? because when she was strong

she would wake up at that time to perform her tahajjud.

its nearly 5 years that she become half-paralysed

and it's almost 2 years she have to wear pampers

and our family take turns taking care of her..

and i really love her,

her smile,

her pantun,

her laugh

her teeth,

her everything.

yes she is quite stern when she was younger

but that is she. the most strong ever person

never did I have the moment to not amaze with her

i will love her forever more

inshaAllah, biidznillah.

lastly, appreciate what you have now

before it's too late.

wassalam